Eminem - The Real Slim Shady Lyrics (2024)

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May I have your attention, please?May I have your attention, please?Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?We're gonna have a problem hereY'all act like you never seen a white person beforeJaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the doorAnd started whoopin' her ass worse than beforeThey first were divorced, throwin' her over furniture (Agh!)It's the return of the "Ah, wait, no way, you're kiddingHe didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"And Dr. Dre said, nothing, you idiots!Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basem*nt (ha ha!)Feminist women love Eminem"Chicka, chicka, chicka, Slim Shady, I'm sick of himLook at him, walkin' around, grabbin' his you-know-whatFlippin' the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though."Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head looseBut no worse than what's goin' on in your parents' bedroomsSometimes I wanna get on TV and just let looseBut can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kissAnd that's the message that we deliver to little kidsAnd expect them not to know what a woman's cl*tor*s isOf course they're gonna know what intercourse isBy the time they hit fourth gradeThey've got the Discovery Channel, don't they?We ain't nothin' but mammals—well, some of us, cannibalsWho cut other people open like cantaloupesBut if we can hump dead animals and antelopesThen there's no reason that a man and another man can't elopeBut if you feel like I feel, I got the antidoteWomen, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goesI'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell recordsWell, I do, so f*ck him and f*ck you too!You think I give a damn about a Grammy?Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"Why, so you guys could just lie to get me here?So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?sh*t, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairsSo I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred DurstAnd hear 'em argue over who she gave head to firstLittle bitch put me on blast on MTV"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee."I should download her audio on MP3And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VDI'm sick of you little girl and boy groupsAll you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy youAnd there's a million of us just like meWho cuss like me, who just don't give a f*ck like meWho dress like me, walk, talk and act like meAnd just might be the next best thing, but not quite me'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?I'm like a head trip to listen to, ‘cause I'm only givin' youThings you joke about with your friends inside your livin' roomThe only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'allAnd I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at allI just get on the mic and spit itAnd whether you like to admit it, I just sh*t itBetter than 90% of you rappers out canThen you wonder: "How canKids eat up these albums like Valiums?"It's funny, ‘cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm 30I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirtingPinching nurse's asses when I'm jacking off with JergensAnd I'm jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isn't workingAnd every single person is a Slim Shady lurkingHe could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion ringsOr in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a f*ck!"With his windows down and his system upSo will the real Shady please stand upAnd put one of those fingers on each hand up?And be proud to be outta your mind and outta controlAnd one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real ShadyAll you other Slim Shadys are just imitatingSo won't the real Slim Shady please stand upPlease stand up, please stand up?Ha ha, I guess there’s a Slim Shady in all of usF*ck it, let’s all stand up!

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